What is the core of male sexuality? And are we all created equal? Are all men sex-crazed machines, or is that what popular media would want you to believe? Are men only after sex whilst women appreciate emotional relationships? Conventional wisdom has placed more robust sex drives and straightforwardness with intercourse on the laps of men. Whether heterosexual or gay, women are said to be more concerned with the emotional aspects of sex.
There are, however, other cultural and social factors, as well as contextual sensitivity norms that affect men’s sexual desires without leaning on stereotyped clichés.
So what is true about male sexuality? And how, if at all, do we differ from our female counterparts?
Male Sexuality: The Science
Many studies have tried to map the common aspects of male and female sexuality, and the verdict is out: men & women do differ.
A study invited male and female participants to watch videos of sex acts in order to find gender differences in arousal. The study was conducted by showing the participants videos of two men having sex and two women having sex. The interesting found was that straight men only got aroused by watching the two women, and gay men only got aroused by watching the two men. However, the women got aroused by watching both videos. The scientists concluded that this suggested that men are more interested in the content and women are more interested in the context. Meaning – women like to watch people having relationships, men like to watch sex they want to participate in.
Thinking About Sex
Reports by researchers suggest that men think about sex at least once a day. That is twice as much as women. Even with age, male sexual fantasies are still frequent, leading to spontaneous turn-ons. Thinking about sex and sexual genitalia is bound to bring on a stiffy, which may (more often than not) result in masturbation or some sort of release.
Male Sexuality & Being Desired
The natural set-up has always been that men are the ones desiring and pursuing sexual encounters. But across the gay and heterosexual dynamics, men have always reported loving when their partner compliments their appearance, ogles their groin areas, and openly chases after them. Using subtle signals, sensual talk, or physical demonstrations of sexual desires is and has always been a safe path to a mans bedroom. If you make it there in time.
So what does that tell us about male sexuality? Perhaps it’s a bit more nuanced than first assumed? Perhaps we all have feelings and emotional needs after all?
Anticipation And The Build-Up
A hint of things to come has always been a key factor in turning guys on. This adds adventure and confidence to sexuality, and creates an expectation of pleasure. Enjoying the arousal state as well as improving your sexual performance comes from anticipation, meaning the longer you anticipate, the sweeter it becomes. When a man sees a subtle but sexual hint that it’s bound to get hot and sweaty later, the hard-on becomes more energetic and more responsive.
Going Off The Script
For guys to be turned on and not fake their arousal, you need to stay away from a predefined flowchart. Sex can become mundane and boring if you and your partner keep to the same roles over and over again. Stepping outside the missionary position, introducing a sex toy for men or having sex in places other than the bedroom can act as a kinky turn on for guys.
Sex Toys And Self-Pleasuring
There’s more to masturbation than just having your shaft stimulated, and excellent solo play is not only healthy but recommended. Relieve your inner sexual tension and stress. Improve the health of your prostate with mind blowing sex toys and masturbation machines made to get the job done. Why? You can’t catch an STD or make someone pregnant with a good rubbing off using a high-tech male stroking machine, so why wouldn’t you? Remember, the world is like an onion, it has layers (quoting Shrek), and so does human sexuality. So why only experience the first layer?
Turn your man on by surprising him with exiting sex toys and experimental positions. Encourage self-play or mutual masturbation to get that pulse pumping. Nothing turns a man on more than watching you enjoy yourself!
Pre-Play & Teasing
Many swear by the porn video’s ability to turn them on, but erotic material can come in many forms. Listening or reading erotica can be entertaining, giving you prolonged hard-ons as you fantasize over stories and audiobooks. Chatting dirty to your sexual partner via phone or text is a great way to build sexual tension. Interactive role play games online is another alternative.
There are other ways to tease someone as well. What about leaving your underwear in his jacket pocket before he goes to work? That’s a step back from digital teasing, but why can’t we have it all?
Let’s face it – male sexuality has been overlooked and put in boxes for too long! We demand equal rights to an emotional connection with our sexual partners, the right to be desired and the right to be nuanced.