Have you ever been curious about creating a homemade masturbator? Or maybe you already have something shiny at home that has sparked your interest?

There are countless reasons why some people may decide to opt for a substitute for male strokers, other sex toys, or barrier methods. Maybe you couldn’t afford one, or maybe it’s a particular fetish? Sometimes men just want to put our dicks in things too – no reasons needed!

Whatever the situation, the ideal thing is to use an item for its intended purpose. For example, the most effective masturbator for men is one made specifically to be a masturbator, and the best barrier tools are dental dams and real condoms.

You know, the penis is a delicate organ that needs to be handled with care. Treat it with the utmost respect – you only have one. That does not mean you can not get creative with household items! BUT, if you’re tired of hands, at least take a look at the cautionary stories below – and know you have been warned!

Feb. 21, 2018. Newport, UK.

An unlucky tradesman found himself at the A&E after he got his penis stuck in a spanner. He claimed the penis got there by “accident”.

Unfortunately for him, the doctors and nurses at the Royal Gwent Hospital couldn’t get it out and had to call the fire brigade for help. Two crews from the South Wales Fire and Rescue were finally able to free the man’s genitals by using a specialist cutting tool.

A source at the hospital has this to say “… He (the man) was very vague about how the spanner became stuck, saying it was an accident. However, once he was freed, he was very embarrassed but otherwise unhurt.”

And this lead the fire service to tweet this as a warning to the general public:

 The fire brigade tweeted this out but later deleted due to 'poor taste'

Again, you have been warned!

July 17, 1994. Lakeland, FL, United States.

Paramedics were called at 4:45 a.m. to a Scottish inn motel to rescue 33-year-old Robert Cheuvront whose penis was trapped in the swimming pool suction fitting. 

Before the paramedics arrived, the motel staff shut off the pool’s pump, but still, the man couldn’t remove his penis because it had become swollen. When paramedics finally came, they freed poor Robert after working for about 40 minutes.

Cheuvront was later taken to Lakeland Regional Medical Center where his battered penis was treated.

Jan 12, 2020. Bangkok, Thailand.

A 21-year-old man in Thailand got his penis caught in his own DIY sex toy – metal contraption for 5 days. He had previously used it to masturbate on two different occasions before he got stuck the third time.

He checked himself into the hospital on the fifth day after trying unsuccessfully to free himself. Then paramedics spent 3 hours cutting through the metal before his penis was released.

The doctor said the man was lucky not to have lost his penis, and to be alive, because the situation was a critical one. Although the penis had rotted badly, it could be treated and hopefully, there won’t be any serious negative side effects.

September 15, 2017. Worms, Germany

Firefighters in Worms, Germany shared a story on their Facebook page about how they had to spend 3 hours cutting a 2.6 kg barbell at a gym. They wanted to remove the penis of a man who decided to have a little fun with the disc and got stuck. 

Finally, with the aid of a vibrating saw, a cutting grinder, and a hydraulic rescue device, the poor man was freed. 

We hope this dude and other like-minded fellas would heed the advice of Brian Koerber of Mashable.com

“… Please take this as a lesson and remember there are plenty of safe male sex toys out there for purchase. Never use a piece of metal.”

So, what’s our final conclusion? Stay safe. And get a real masturbator. It’s worth it and it gives a better experience than other substitutes. However, if you do chose to test those tempting tools (TTTT – for short), try it with a banana first!

Leave a Reply