The first series of this post looked at the different ways mutual masturbation can make your relationship stronger. Now, it’s time to see how you can incorporate it into your relationship and make it an enjoyable pastime.

Masturbation: Begin With a Discussion

Mutual masturbation is a bit outside the box for many people. That’s why it’s important to first have a conversation with your partner instead of dropping the bombshell the day you want to do it.

When a couple agrees to run with the idea, they need to work out how to make it comfortable for both parties. Should you sneak glances at each other? Go at the same pace or each to their own? Sit right in front of each other or stay at opposite ends of the bed?

All these and more should be thoroughly discussed before starting anything. Who knows, the conversation might turn you on in the process?

Start Gradually

If masturbating with your partner makes you feel exposed, it’s better you start by turning off the lights. As time goes by, you could introduce a faint candlelight or agree to close your eyes and listen to each other’s love moans.

Other alternatives are you can remain fully clothed, or turn out in your undies if that’s okay by you. Eventually, you may feel courageous enough to do it completely nude. Or the bolder partner could go first while the other watches and then later join in. Just make sure you don’t push yourself completely out of your comfort zone straight away, it might be damaging in the long run. Worst case scenario – it will kill the interest right then and there. So play nice and follow each others lead, it’s meant to bring you closer.

Masturbation & Porn

Porn is not for everyone, so thread carefully if you have never discussed porn with your partner before. But even though there might be a porn taboo in your relationship, remember that there is something for everyone out there. And it might benefit you when tearing down those walls with your partner.

Watching porn together during mutual masturbation can make the session less awkward for both partners as it takes the attention away from you.

One thing you should do ahead of time is to agree on which genre is preferable, and if possible pre-select a particular video.

Test different things if you are looking to spice up your sex life. It’s OK if you don’t like – or if you LOVE porn. The issue is the shame some feel because of their preferences. By exploring rather than shaming sexual preferences in our relationships, we give each other a free space to feel sexual. A sex life worth having is one that helps you to grow! Right? And we mean that in all possible ways.

Use Lube and Sex Toys

This might not be option 1 the first time you masturbate in front of your partner, but if all goes well, then this is on the menu further down the line!

Masturbation sessions with your partner is the perfect opportunity to use your favorite sex toys or experiment with new ones. Toys add to the fun by heightening sexual pleasure and giving a stimulating visual experience. There are female vibrators and male strokers that each partner could use to give themselves exquisite pleasure . And these toys, especially when used with plenty of lube, give a more intense orgasm than mere hands.  

Make It a Game

There’s nothing more exciting than playful sex – and the same goes for mutual masturbation. If the session tends towards the playful side, you’ll feel all your apprehension and self-consciousness seep away.

Make it less serious and more playful by turning it to a game. Race each other to see who would come first or match each other’s pace and try to climax together.

Make it interactive by instructing each other, perhaps! You could direct your partner to slow their pace, go faster, stroke themselves in a particular way, or finish by penetration.

There are probably hundreds of games you could make this in to, and maybe discovering those will be the beginning of a new world for the two of you!

Don’t Mimic the Attractive Positions of Porn Stars

Or do, you know, but let’s talk about why maybe you should not! When couples first start masturbating in front of each other, some will mimic the position or technique of porn stars. This might look exiting and turn your partner on, but the issue is that you are creating a false expectation that leads you down the wrong path. This is about you, remember? So instead of imitating someone, be your authentic self.

Your best bet to having a good time is to do your thing in whatever quirky or weird way you usually do it. You may be stunned at how much of a turn on it is to your partner. And by the way, the most erotic thing a person can show their partner is their genuine pleasure.

It’s meant to teach you guys about each other, so making sure you represent what you like will be a great teaching tool for your partner.

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